Relationships, Dating and Marriage – The defining factor.

Happy new year, everyone. I know i write for other websites, blogs et al but i figured why not start my own blog (None of that ‘Bla bla just bought a new range rover” crap of course). This is for those who seek intrigue of the mind, intellect and undiluted reality with no bias whatsoever (Abeg make una help me spread the word o! Tell everyone you know, anyhow you know how to!). Anyways, here is food for thought for a new year and hopefully, a new chapter in all our lives. May the good Lord keep us and ours this year. Amen. Now, on to the matter.

In ancient times, dating and relationships were relatively unheard of. Courtship and dating were generally skipped and marriages were mostly arranged (depending on a host of factors I’d rather not delve into). Inasmuch as this is still common practice in some parts of the world, I think we’d all agree that such practices are generally not acceptable anymore. People now consider things like love, trust, compatibility and so on before getting into relationships and marriages. In fact, the general cycle is friendship, dating, courtship, engagement and marriage. However, some people still consider things like tribe and financial status etc before dating someone or marrying someone. The question now is what should be the ideal defining factor before getting into a relationship or getting married to someone?

Naturally, everyone wants some sort of security and positive gain from their relationships. Now, some (especially females – sue me) see such security only in financial abundance, others in people of the same tribe or race and so on. I’m not saying this is bad, but at the same time, i don’t think this is ideal. Before I go on, I’d like us to keep an open mind and think objectively as we read this piece.
Let’s take those that are all about the money for example. The financial capability (or incapability) of their partner defines everything that goes on in the relationship (or most of it at least) as far as they are concerned. As soon as the premise of financial security looks negatively tweaked in the slighest, the entire setup falls to ruins. What follows is anyone’s guess. Same goes for other superficial attributes people look for in their partners. It almost never ends well. Now, what should be the ideal definitive factor?

In my humble opinion, I think the persona is what should really count. Not tribe, money, social status and the rest. Your feelings for your partner should be founded based on who that person is. I mean the inner person. Not where they work; how famous they are; what school they attend or attended; what country they are from; how much money or power their family has etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these things shouldn’t be considered, I’m saying they SHOULDN’T be the prerequisite for relationships, much less marriage. Because in the end, it is the person you’re dating or getting married to, NOT those other things. 
Before you write off someone, try to get to know them. What kind of people are they? Is this person an introvert? Do they have a god complex? Are they passive-aggressive in nature? What impression does their thinking pattern pass on to you? Yes, I know money and the rest influence who a person is, but still, they INFLUENCE; they don’t DEFINE. And even if they do define who a person is, they can only define the person exigently. The inner person will always be there. Always. And that’s who you would have to deal with eventually, whether you’re dating the person or getting married to them.

Just imagine a world where people didn’t hold any prejudice against anyone because of their skin color, tribe, race, financial status, social status, family background and the rest. A world in which people dated and got married because of a non-superficial connection to their partners. A bond that transcends materialistic frivolities. Isn’t that a world ANYONE would want to live in?

Anyways, like the debaters say, I hope that with these few points of mine, I have been able to convince and not confuse you that money, fame and the rest shouldn’t be the primary factor that determines who you date or marry.
Till next time, remember to stay happy always. 

P.S: Please feel free to comment and share your views. As candidly as is possible. Make una dey try encourage us. Share and comment. Tbank you and God bless.


Waka-about The Country Made Easy.

Amazing, amazing read!

Naija Life Hacks.

Dear Akagum,

I am a young entrepreneur who loves to travel. Apart from finding new business opportunities wherever I go, I just live for the experience. I love being on the road, taking photos, and seeing new places as often as I can, and thankfully I have friends and relatives scattered all over the country.

The problem is that because the price of everything has sky rocketed, enjoying my favorite pastime has become a luxury. I need to know if there is a way to enjoy traveling when you’re on a budget in this country.

Yours Sincerely,

Alarin K.A

Dear Alarin K.A,

Thanks to the recession someone cannot drink water and drop cup again, and this is truly a tight period for us all.

Staying at home and just commuting within your city is quite the task, not to talk of traveling from one town or city to another. Someone…

View original post 699 more words

5 or 6 Correct Businesses To Start With N4000 (In Nigeria)

Naija Life Hacks.

The average Nigerian spends the best years of childhood trapped in prison like classrooms, being programmed with knowledge from outdated curriculums. When it is now time to enter university which is where all the years spent in primary and secondary school leads to, the real ten-ten with someone’s future begins.

This for example, happens to the very unlucky ones;

Enieleni: I want to study Law.

JAMB: Okay, Religious Technology and Physical Gyration Education it is!

On the other hand, the ordinary- just mildly unlucky ones get to study exactly what they want, but after graduation and the by force serving of the Fatherland, a very similar but maybe not exactly the same fate meets both the mildly unlucky and the very unlucky ones together. No jobs!

Okay, we don’t entirely mean no jobs at all-at all, as the situation is either a scarcity of jobs that come with God-fearing salaries…

View original post 1,140 more words

I’m done with Naija.

I know there is probably nothing I will say in this article that is new to anyone reading it, and if something is new to you, then I don’t know for you.

Join me…

Regardless, this rant must proceed.

Nigeria is, literally, one of the hardest places to live in on this planet. My God, this country is so fucking ridiculous. See, I am no longer a patriotic citizen. Ahn, I’m done. Kilode?

Cost of living is high, there is no light, no fuel to even give yourself light. And that is only the beginning. Living in Lagos – the oh-so-famous commercial hub of Nigeria – makes the whole situation seem ten times worse. There is no fuel, but there are traffic jams caused by people queuing for fuel all over the city. When you do manage to get fuel in your car, the useless roads will ruin the vehicle for you, then you have to spend money you don’t have to repair it. If you manage to save up some money and buy some foodstuffs, make soup and keep in the freezer (because that’s what people that have sense do – jk), then there will be no light, so you will have to buy a generator and run it frequently – after which, at some point, it will develop problems – so you will have to spend yet more money (which you don’t have by the way), to maintain this much-needed muthafucker that you really can’t do without. All this wan never join light bill, water bill, LAWMA bill (if you live in Lagos), and so on o!



Well, not all of this applies to anyone above the upper middle-class section of the Nigerian society (which is a very minuscule minority, we all know this), but you just have to wonder how everything in this country can be so fucking shitty. It’s crazy, you guys. How can a 50-something-year old country, that is the largest producer of oil in the whole of Africa and fourth in the world, not have a single fully functional refinery? HOOOOW??!! I mean, this thing is just generally common sense.

Check out this shit: We produce this oil, sell at a cheap price – because it’s a raw material plus global oil prices – then import at a more expensive price than we sold it (because, finished product), which essentially means the amount of oil Nigeria produces (asper largest producer in Africa) does mean shit on the long run.

The Nigerian oil situation in one picture.

If not that Buhari enforced the TSA account law, (yes, he didn’t come up with the law, it was passed while Jona was there) we would still been making a huge loss just through banking practices alone. I could go on and on about all of the crap that is wrong with Nigeria.

Sometimes, you just look up to the sky and be like,”What happuuuunnn??” It’s ridiculous. People are tired but there aren’t many options either. So we just sit and wallow in this seemingly endless black hole eating away at the very fabric of who we are as Nigerians. Everybody no longer care for anybody but themselves. The country is broken on the national level and it is even more broken on the individual level. All that is left of this once ‘great country’ is a reminder of a past that no longer is, a present that shouldn’t be, and a future that’ll probably never be.

I am a very tired Nigerian youth, frustrated at the havoc of corruption, the dismantling of collective will, and disheartened for the ever-dimming light of hope – which is a problem, by the way. We as a people have to muthafucking rise from this shit. Our parents did their bit and we are where we are. When will we get to do our bit? Why aren’t we already doing our bit? These people have designed their laws to serve them and their purpose – and this leaves us at a very unfortunate disadvantage. Sigh.

When you realize that Nigeria is indeed, a clusterfuck.

I don’t think I may be making much sense right now. Hell, I probably don’t even know anything about collective spirit and  petroleum marketing but I just feel like things shouldn’t be the way they are. Does that make sense? Growing up and living and existing and all that shouldn’t be this hard! We need to re-calibrate our thought processes and focus on what we really want for our country. Yes, you may have money but in some shape, manner or form, this country will fuck you up at some point. And that is when you will remember this article from a struggle writer talking straight dust and … Lol, jk, I am dope af.

Anyway, I think I have run out of shit to say today. So follow me on Twitter @KvngEff, tweet a topic you would want an article on and I’ll get right on it. Till later, remember that your happiness above all else.

Peez Out.

Love Letters.

Dear Ayoola,

My infatuation with you did not impress.


Dear Jubril,

You were my first love.

You chew me up and refuse to spit me out.


Dear Daye,

I am sorry.


Dear Lami,

You should be sorry.

Black and purple did not suit my skin.

black and purple 2

Dear Mayowa,

We tried too hard.

We lived in too many shadows.

trying too hard

Dear Olisa,

I cannot get you out of my bones.

You squat beneath my ribcage.

Woman with backache isolated on white background

Dear Gbolahan,

You gave me disillusion with meaningful words.

I tried to love you.

disillusioned tried to love you

Dear James,

You are breathtaking and the everything of everything.

And I do not know how to be enough.

not enough for you

Dear Hamid,

Why did we do it?

why did we do it

Dear Izien,

I would have broken your skull when I had the chance.

I should hurt you

Dear Ayoola,

Your indelible imprint colours everything I do.

color everything I do

Dear Joshua,

You are my what’s next.

my whats next

Dear Deji,

You stroked my hand and my hair to wake me.

You are afraid of me.

scared of me

Dear Jubril,

I still remember every word.

Every touch.

Dear Seyi,

In my head we had infinity.

infinity in my head

Dear Desmond,

You hurt me deep, mistook my niceness,

My malleability, for weakness.

You will never be forgiven.


Dear Jubril,

I still remember.

By @theozioma

The Alter Ego Diaries (Ep. 5)

*Lights Kush*

So here I am, after some vodka, listening to Sam Smith’s ‘In The Lonely Hour’ album, typing this entry. It’s a New Year and so far it has been going great. Things are looking good at work, Awero and I have agreed to get a car (my second), my baby sis had her matriculation into the university yesterday, my relationship is in a good place, and life is good in general.

I didn’t write as much as I would like last year, due to various reasons, but no matter, I know I can always do more – be more.

It’s a new year and I have made some decisions – plans on how to make this year work. I have been through a lot of shit in my life but I am in a much better place now than I used to be. Sometimes, I hate that things are so hard and I have to toil and struggle to move to the next stage but that’s life. I’m learning to come to terms with that.

The thing is, I know things won’t always be this good. Life always has some test or joke to play on you – living everyday like it’s your last, doing what makes you happy (because NOTHING is more important than happiness), being ready for any and everything, is the only way to pull through. I keep learning and discovering new things every day. I know it’s a little cliché having resolutions and what not, so that’s why I have decided that this year is the year of positive vibes ONLY.

The past few years have been formative in a weird, difficult and strange kind of way. I have become an entirely different person and that’s okay. Sometimes, you need to go through stuff, see things in a different light, and become someone else to get to the next stage in your personal evolution. And that’s why I want to do things differently this year.

I want to put myself out there in a completely different way, do stuff I wouldn’t usually do, go out more, pay more attention to my relationship, and just enjoy life while I can. I have been too holed up and self-absorbed in the past few years. Now is the time to take all I have learnt and put them to use in a way that only makes me a better me, for myself, my family and for Awero.

I don’t know how all of that will go. Heck, I don’t even know if things will still be good by the time I put up my next entry but one thing is for sure – no matter what life throws at me now, I can take it. I have been as low as can be and the only way is up.

I hope as you read this the year has also started on a great note for you too. If it hasn’t, do not despair. Instead, take charge and do you. It’s your life and no one can make it as good as you want except you. Do what makes you happy, fuck whatever anyone thinks, and live while you can.

Till next time, may God bless and keep us all.


Roll Call.


I want to be inside every girl you fucked before me, show you the birthmarks you never noticed shaped like canoes and rocketships.


I will get her chest to rise, then fall, steal the very source of her breath and curl my fingers around it – into dough, how you never could knead.


I have my hand on her throat because you hated when she would talk. We could work together, tie her hair into a knot.

I just want to be inside the girls who have intestines like cotton candy and breasts like oranges explain why you should have loved her as a woman sometimes.


You say you prefer my skin, and the way I whimper but maybe you just did not fuck her hard enough.

By @theozioma

Erotica: The Taking.

It’s when other girls want you, I stand confidently
‘Cause I know I’m your fantasy and your reality
me cooking you meal, you step up to me
you pull my hair, kiss my neck.
Draw me closer, kiss my lips, down to my navel.
Please Baby don’t stop

It’s when you let me aspire to inspire you to take me higher, fulfill my desire.
Memories of you is all I need
to believe and achieve a climax so sweet.
I want to watch you eat, while on your knees, listening to Alicia Keys.
This love is not just for anybody.

It’s the way you feel while discovering me
Holding my hands down right next to me
The smell of your cologne
it urges me to Hold you close and pull you near
call you my dear cos your kind is so rare

It’s when you emancipate my body
Liberate my soul
Touch me in all the right places
Excuse my funny faces
I see vanilla skies
When you lick my chocolate thighs
Damn I’m feeling so high

It’s when I love you endlessly
And follow you religiously
Don’t mislead me
Please just give me
A touch of your lips
As you take swift dips
While I Twist my hips

Its when you are downtown, taking my emotions uptown
My head spinning
Because I’m winning

Its when we do it on the tiles, the rug, on the rooftop, or even the kitchen counter top
Take me to another world, another dimension, I dare mention
the bedroom is too conventional
Damn! My thinking is irrational!

By @TheEloho